Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk: Why your child spilling their milk is one of the most important moments in their preschool life

"What? How can spilled milk be an important moment in my child's life?"

Probably what you're thinking, right? I have taught preschoolers for many years, and this is one of our most frequent issues. It's not the spilling, or the mess that is going to teach your child anything, it is how they fix the problem. Problem solving is the most important thing we can teach our children at the preschool age, how to fix things themselves. At this age they are capable of so much; yet we are in such a hurry we do things for them. If you want to solve your child's problems for the rest of their life, go ahead clean up the milk. If you want your child to begin to understand how capable they are of helping themselves, then slow down.

We’ve all picked up a child who has fallen, pushed in their chair for them, cleaned up a mess they have made, probably without even a thought.

These moments, as well as every moment in your preschooler’s life, are teachable. They spill their milk, what do they do? They call for you, or they turn to look at you; they need you and it is your choice how you help them.

Do you see the spill, run to get a paper towel, clean it up, and fill back up your child’s cup? If so, you’re doing it wrong.

When your child looks at you, you know the look, asking for help with their sweet little eyes..follow these steps:

1. Verbalize the situation 

Example:

"I see you've spilled your milk"

Acknowledging the problem lets your child know you are apart of the situation with them.

2. Ask them what they should do
Example:

"What should we do?"

(using the word "we" instead of "you" let's your child know you are there to help, rather than them feeling like they have to fix the problem alone.)

By asking your child what to do they are practicing problem solving. When you tell your child how to fix the problem they are only obeying orders.

3.Help them with the process

Example:

"Let me help you."

Help them with their decision, they should decide to get paper towels, a rag etc. Although for the sillier ones, they could suggest something that probably won't help. Just help them by saying " what do you think about getting a rag?" 

4. Set them up for success

 Don't expect your child to clean it up on their own right away, they're learning. Help them with getting what they need and showing them how to clean it up. 

Naturally, they will wad up whatever they have and do a nice and messy little "wax on, wax off" motion, just show them how to do it the right way.

5. Verbalize the conclusion

Example:

"It's okay to spill your milk because accidents happen, but remember it is your responsibility to clean up your messes. It's no problem to get a rag to clean up the mess, and if you need help i'm always here to help you."

By concluding the process they will have a better chance of helping themselves next time they spill their milk.

This is not an article on how to clean up milk, it is guidelines to help your child solve any problem they encounter. It's easy as parents and teachers to take care of things ourselves, but it is our responsibility to teach our children how to become independent.

Just remember the steps when your child runs into any problem: a mess, a lost toy, sibling disputes, when they become frustrated, any possible problem.

1. Verbalize the situation

2. Ask them what they should do 

3. Help them with the process

4. Set them up for success

5. Verbalize the conclusion

Thanks for reading! :)

Ashlie

Potty Training in Under 100 Words

As soon as possible put your child in underwear; regularly take them to the restroom. If you can take your child to the restroom every 90 minutes, accidents are less likely to happen. Talk to your child frequently about the feeling of needing to use the restroom. Rewarding your child for using the toilet is eminent, the more excited you are, they more excited they will be. Your child will grasp the concept if you continuously remind them, it is your job as a parent to do the reminding. 

I promise you, it is this easy. If you are not consistent, they will consistently have accidents. 

Reminders

-NEVER compare your child’s potty training to another child’s. You know this though, you would never compare your child to another.. right?

-Try to ALWAYS refrain from food treats as a reward. Even though we as adults would do anything for a cupcake, using food treats as a reward may set up a confusing relationship with foods in the coming years.

-Once your start, don’t stop. Have your child pick out the underwear, make it a special trip. Remind them about their special underwear and how they do not want to get them wet. Who the heck wants to pee on The Hulk?

-When accidents happen try to refrain from using phrases such as, "you shouldn’t be having accidents", Because uhh... yes they should.

-Talking with your child about the feelings helps them recognize their ability to chose to have an accident or not. Do not expect them to understand potty training with out understanding they are in control of their body, 

-Every 90 mintues, are you crazy? How will I ever remember??? THE POTTY WATCH

If you’re wondering if your child is ready, the answer is yes.

The real question is are YOU are ready.

Transitioning from diapers to pull-ups to underwear can be an arduous unnecessary process.

Before Underwear

Make bathroom trips regular, if you child stays at home with you, the process is easier than if in care.

Every time you go to the restroom, take your child. You go, then have them go. Either in their own potty, or I recommend installing a child’s seat in the toilet most used by the child. Converse with your child on how important it is to use the toilet, help them recognize the feeling felt when you need to go.